:)

To the one who chose to be with me when the world decided to turn its back on me.
To the one who chose to help me pick up the broken pieces of myself.
To the one who was God's proof to me that I am special and I am loved.
To the one who never grew tired of listening to me.
To the one who was always there for me.

Thank you. Yes, this post is dedicated to you.

Champions of Christ

Champions of Christ, CC KO POrMa 2012

LOJY Pasig

Team Dekalibre

If I'm not mistaken, last year, we only had 5 camps. This year, we had a total of 7 camps. And it's amazing at how the youth continues to grow. I still remember the time when we only but a hand-full of servants, and we only held one youth camp a year. I am honored to be part of God's team for the youth. We are indeed the future of the church. 

Blessed tremendously. 

Random thoughts on love.

I've recently noticed that in falling in love, you'd tend to look for yourself in the other person, i.e. similarities in attitude, common interests, etc. I may not fully understand why we do that, maybe it's because we're finding more reasons to love that person more. But I'm sure about one thing: Once the similarities are found, and realize that maybe you don't have that much in common, but still you choose to stay and accept that and love that along with the similarities that made you fall in love with that person, that's when you truly love.

Footnote.

You were more than just a foot note.

Faces

It's a quarter to three and I'm still not sleepy. Everything around me is still.

Quiet. Peace. Tranquility.

More time to think, to reflect.

It's been a while since I did something like this. To just sit still and think while there's soft music playing in the background.

So many faces are flashing in my mind right now. Faces and memories attached to those faces.

There are some faces who were once an important part of my life, but like so many things before them, have come and left, but leaving an indelible mark on my mind and heart just the same.

There are some faces who I have seen just once in my entire lifetime and have sometimes wondered the what-ifs. What if I smiled at her? Would we become friends?

There are faces who are still very an important part of my life. Familiar faces who give me a warm, safe feeling. The faces who have never failed to be there and make me smile.

And then I see my own face. What do I see? I see confusion, sadness, a plethora of emotions.

I still strive to see myself through His eyes.

I'm tired.

Tired of constantly allowing my worth to depend on how much people love me.
Tired of allowing people inside and trusting them when they aren't really worth trusting.

I'm tired of people trampling down on me. It's time for me to shine. No more insecurities, no more demons. I will see myself through God's eyes again and move forward.

I don't need anybody to dictate my worth.

Obligatory (post) Valentine's Day Post

I've been dying to write something significant lately, but I haven't been able to get any inspiration. 

I did, however, chance upon this beautiful entry and this sparked the fire in me to write. 

My mind goes back to a few months back. I felt beaten up, broken, lost, and betrayed. I felt like I have lost everything. And in the process, I have hurt people. You know how it felt like everything that could go wrong went wrong? That's how I honestly felt like.

Exactly during that time, the youth servants were invited to a retreat. And there was this one activity where you were given silent time to talk to God. So I did what any self-respecting person would do: I loudly voiced out every thought that I had for God.

"God, I honestly don't know why I'm here. I've been trying to feel Your presence since the first day of the retreat, and I could not feel ANYTHING. Where are You when I need You, Lord? I am broken and I feel so worthless. I haven't done anything right. I've even hurt people because of what has been happening. I am nothing, Lord. I am nothing right, nothing whole. Why am I here? Why can't I feel You?" 

And then in the silence of the retreat house, I heard God speak to my heart through a song.

"Lights will guide you home.
And ignite your bones
And I WILL fix you"

And yes, I know you could tell that I started to cry my eyes out. But what I'm trying to say here is that you may feel like nobody could ever love you for you or that after all that you've given, still you weren't loved the way you deserve to be loved, BUT there is Someone who is willing to pick up the broken pieces and love you back to wholeness. Totally. Unconditionally. Selflessly.

Surrender what is broken and He will make it whole. No ifs, no buts. He'll love you just the same.

The same way He's been loving me and many others since the world began.