Of Unexpected Outcomes (part 2).

Broken friendships restored.
Bonds strengthened.
New friendships forged.

4PHL, for 4 years, I've experienced so many things with you, shared my ups and downs with you, and I can't thank God enough for having giving me a block as great as you.

I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU... ALWAYS. :)

Of Unexpected Outcomes.

"Your study is excellent; ingenious" -- Dr. Paolo Bolaños

This phrase has been on loop in my head for the past few hours. You see, the defense, MY defense was a while ago. And all the while I was thinking that I would bomb the defense, that my panel would find so many flaws in it that I would have to do a major revision.

But no. With God's amazing grace, I was able to elicit that kind of reaction from Dr. Paolo Bolaños. Amazing.

Thank You, Lord.
It's all from You. <3

Of Laziness.

Thesis defense tomorrow.

And yet here I am, blogging like I have nothing else better to do. I have a powerpoint presentation that I have to make, I have to read more about Levinas, and I have to just SLEEP.

But no, here I am, blogging.

I don't understand why, but for some reason, all that I feel is inner peace.

I hope that's a good sign.

Of Being Stoic.

After that hopelessness and despair that I felt last week, all I feel right now is... NOTHING.

I don't feel any happiness that I've finally finished my thesis.
I don't feel any panic because I have a paper due this Thursday and I haven't started on anything.
I don't feel any pity because my friend was depressed.
I don't feel any anxiety because one of my panelists on my defense is Dr. Paolo Bolaños, a notorious panelist who eats the philo students alive.
I don't feel any giddyness when someone suddenly sent me a message. (And that's a good thing.)
I just don't feel anything at all.

I know I should feel really bad... But I don't. I'm just tired. Tired of feeling. All I want to do is sleep and sleep.

Of pictures and forgetting.

Kapag nakikita ko picture natin, kahit gaano ka pa ka-gwapo, hindi talaga tayo bagay. Sayang. Hahaha. I know you have a crush on me. HAHAHA.

I erased your number on my phone. So that I wouldn't get tempted to say "I miss you" every time I pass by your name on my phonebook. I need to let this go. It's not healthy anymore.

Late Night Nostalgia.

Why is that when I don't want to see you and I finally made my mind up in letting you go that you suddenly appear out of nowhere?

I am so sorry that I had to bring it up. I just get so frustrated. Is this temptation or a challenge to test me whether I really mean what I say? But this time, trust me, I do. I've erased remnants of that person in my phone, after much debate with myself. So there.

Of the year that was.

While browsing through someone's pictures, I suddenly remembered that the very same day last year was probably the most stressful day in my life.

I remember all of the tears. That late night talk at the room then down at the faculty room, the SWDB scare (just because of a few pictures), then the picture (not stolen this time. HAHAHAHA) at the final exams.

I couldn't believe that it has been a year since that happened. Up until now, I never hear the end of the teasing and bantering and the two of us. But all's well, I suppose. From my side, at least.

I know you know who you are and I know that we're both busy on our theses. Good luck and... HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! :))