Moving On.

Yes, there will be days when a certain place, situation, song, or thing reminds you of someone that you used to think the whole world of.

Yes, there will be nights when you'd start missing the person and you'd miss them being a major part of your life.

BUT it's okay. It's normal. You just have to make that firm decision to pick yourself up, stop dwelling on the emotion and the negativity, and start moving towards betterment and positivity.

I'm making that choice everyday. And slowly, but surely, I'm getting there. :)

KCon 2011 - Transformers: Rise of The Youth

Ate Keren said in one of her statuses on Facebook that 6 years ago, it amazed us that we were able to fill up Christ The King Seminary with hundreds of youth. And now, it was overwhelming to see that 2000+ youth came and were blessed as much as we were, probably more. 

I'm proud to be part of God's team who made all of this possible. Praise God for the awesome and blessed weekend. 

I am definitely transformed from glory to glory. :)

It just keeps on getting better and better. :)

Emotions and Blessings

It's been a while since I've written something decent, or at least what I think is decent, in this blog.

They say that writing your feelings down is therapy, and I guess I didn't do as much "therapy" as I should have. I guess it's because of the fact that a lot of friends have been there to listen to me and distract me enough for me not to write anything down.

Entering a relationship also means that you are letting the person into your life, but more than you'll ever let any friend or family member in. That person would probably be the first person you'd talk to when something interesting, disappointing, or happy happens to you. That person would probably also be the one who'd be with you during those events. He was the one who'd know you inside and out, more than anybody else could know you. Not unless you didn't really love the person, I'd say you'd bare your soul to that person, you'd want them to know everything about you and love you despite your perfections and imperfections. You've built yourself a future with this person. Your plans included that person.

If you're like me who promised yourself that you won't enter any relationship not unless you're sure that you see yourself marrying that person, breaking up is hard. To see something you've built together just disintegrate into thin air, to see something you've believed in not work out... It hurts.

Anyway... I don't want this to sound like an emo entry, so I'll just cut that short and tell you why this break-up is also a blessing. Let me enumerate why:

1. You grow up. Seriously. You mature more emotionally and you become stronger. A break-up can teach you so many lessons about yourself and about life through the break-up.
2. You realize how many (more) people love you. Your friends will always be there to listen (and tolerate) your whining about how hard it is, how much it hurts, blahblahblah. You'll realize that they will always be there for you and that even when the one you love leaves you, they will stay and they have your back.
3. You bloom. It's because you rediscover yourself. You learn new things about yourself. You'll pamper yourself more. Hence, you will bloom.

There's so much more that I could say about this break-up being a blessing, but I realized that it can all be summarized in one point: It makes you better. Heck, every thing that you experience makes you a better person. You live and you learn. And you will be okay.

And yes, I won't deny it, there are nights when I feel like watching Dirty Dancing while bawling (New Girl reference, whaddup), but I guess there will be brighter days. And I'm excited for what the future holds. It's looking brighter. :)

Wala lang. Just wanted to show you gais how I look. Vain, I know. Harhar.

Breaking Up.

#9 from Patty Lagera on Vimeo.

I encountered this video at this blog months ago. I showed this video to Adrian and told him that if ever we weren't really meant for each other, I want him to know that our relationship has made me grow so much as a person and that I wouldn't be harboring any resentment towards him. I never thought that that would happen sooner than I thought.

Like any other couple, Adrian and I loved, love each other. We had our share of ups and downs. But we wanted to make it work. However, during the later part of our relationship, I realized that, yes, we really love each other, but we just weren't on the same page anymore. He has other priorities to focus on, thus compromising our relationship.

And so, last night, we talked. As in really talked. About how I felt, about where do we go, and how it was best that maybe, it just wasn't the right time to be together.

But, like I said, I do not regret being in the relationship with him. It wasn't easy, yes, but I learned so much and changed so much as a person because of it. I'm much more mature, much more understand, much more patient, etc. I learned how to appreciate the small things.

And I place my trust in God, in whatever plan that He has for the both of us. It maybe that we'd still end up together at a later point in life, or that we'll meet someone better for us. I don't know. All I know is that all this is for the best. And yes, I'm sad about this. Really, really sad. But I'm at peace. I have a great support team. I'll be okay. :)

Realizations.

1. No matter how cliche it sounds, I believe everything happens for a reason. You meet people, you fall in love with someone, something happens because it has to happen for something/someone better to come. I should know.
2. There are some people who, no matter how much they've been hurt, their goodness shines through. They instead choose to forgive those that have offended them instead of bearing grudges, no matter how much it hurts. I admire those people.
3. There are also some people who will come into your life, make you cry and hurt you, but still you love them and accept them for who they are. You'd still want to be there for them when they're down and whenever they need you because, despite the tears and the pain, you know that they'll do the very same thing for you. 
4. Most of the time, it hurts to do the right thing. 
5. Sometimes, you'll end up hurting the ones you love. 
6. There will always be a point in your life where you start asking "what if?" Sometimes, you'd be given a chance to answer that question, but most of time, you won't be given a chance to find out what happens. 
7. Life goes on. You will never be stuck in one specific moment or you won't be able to rewind and change what was. All you can do is smile and say, "no regrets", then move on.

Thinking.

Thinking of understanding.
Thinking of hands.
Thinking of breakfast.
Thinking of apple pie.
Thinking of silence.
Thinking of deciding.

Of My Parents

I realized that I never wrote anything about my parents. Way to go, favorite daughter. (They actually have no choice because I'm their only daughter. Funny story. Anyway...)

Le Papa (Pathetic attempt at French, I know)

That's my dad. He never was the affectionate type. He rarely told me that he loves me. He doesn't hug me. For a time, I resented that. I thought he didn't love me and for a time we wouldn't get along. We fought about the simplest things.

But I realized that it didn't really make him less of a father. He just wasn't affectionate. But he loves me. He honestly does. There were times that I'd run to him when I'm down and he'd just listen to me. I remember him picking me up from school (there were days when my classes ended at 9pm) even though his office was a thousand miles away (I'm exaggerating. But Balintawak to España, Manila is kindov far away). There was also this one time that I got really sick with anemia and I couldn't get myself to go home alone, and he picked me up. Recently, I was undergoing something emotionally difficult, and I spent the previous night crying, he wordlessly took me to work. 

Mi Mama (fail Spanish)

My mom is who I call my first ever best friend. I ran to her whenever I cried over something/someone. I told her everything. And she'd listen. And give advice. She was always just a call away. If ever I felt down, I'd just text her, and she'll call me. Her voice always soothed me and assured me that everything will be alright. 

Unlike my dad, my mom's really affectionate. Whenever we'd go to the mall, I'd love to hold her hand and I'm not embarrassed to kiss her in public. Sometimes, I still on her lap (Sorry, feeling baby pa rin). I remember the most hurtful experience that I encountered, I called her up crying and she was crying with me. I knew she could feel my pain, too. 

These two people are my sources of strength. If some people get more pressured when their parents are watching their performances, I need them there. When I sang in front of 10,000 people, I was confident because I knew they were watching. They are my support group. I seriously don't know what to do without these people in my life. 

Yo mom and dad,

Everyday is better when you two are there to smile at me and tell me to continue fighting. Love you both.