You.

In 2009, I decided to put up a blog with you in mind. And 3 years after, I write this entry with you in mind.

I made this blog because I wanted to have an outlet for my feelings for you back then. I stopped writing about you because someone decided to follow my blog and I had to keep my feelings to myself. If I did write about you then, I tried to be really subtle.

I write about you again to release what I feel. I realized that I haven't really let out how I felt lately. This time though, this might be the boldest blog entry that I will ever make.

If you remember, I distanced myself from you because I wanted to really be okay when I'd get together with you. I didn't want to be unfair to you by giving you the second best version of myself. I wanted to heal from my past wounds and be complete in myself before finally committing to you.

I did not forget that promise. In fact, you always crossed my mind. I was always tempted to text you or give you a call, but I stopped myself because I told myself that I needed the time. I started reaching out to you after a month because I knew that I was ready to fulfill that promise I had made. I thought that what I chose to do would make whatever we had better.

Turns out I was wrong. It widened the distance, and I end up hurting you. I thought that what I did was better for the both of us, but as you put it, my decision to distance myself from you "destroyed" you. And you weren't able to forgive me until recently. Every single attempt to reach out was rejected, and I for a time resolved to give up and decided that it would have best if we just tried to forget that it ever happened.

Recently, however, we became okay. Not like before, but at least we're talking. And that's fine enough for me. Truth be told, I miss all the breakfast dates, all the sweet nothings, meaningful (and meaningless) conversations, I miss you. Maybe you're right, maybe we aren't really meant to be together after all. I'm sure you're very much happy with where you are right now. And even though I did not grab the opportunity while it was there, I'm happy with where I am right now as well.

I write this because I want you to know that I haven't forgotten. I don't think I'll forget it any time soon. BUT I am happy with where we both are at right now. Nothing just happens, and whether or not we are meant to be together, I'm happy I was given the chance to know what it feels like at such a short period of time. Thank you for everything.