Of Escaping.

Maybe I just can't keep on escaping from reality anymore.

Of Being More Responsible

As another chapter of my life ends, I begin to ask myself, "what now? Where will I go?"

For the entire 4 years of my college life, everything seemed to be so certain, so planned, so organized. I was to go to school on these days, I have to read these readings for this subject, I was to have a quiz tomorrow, I have to pass this term paper on Friday. I was given this much money for my lunch, merienda, and dinner. Now what? I'm about to go to work but where? It's an entirely new beginning in an alien place.

It's getting out of my comfort zone again, to go towards the unknown. I'm afraid more than anything else. No more professors to tell me what to do and how to think, no more blockmates to share jokes with, no more parents to fetch me or give me baon. It'll be me, making my own decisions, making my own plans, making my own money (good-bye baon). It'll be me being more responsible.

And yet even when I'm afraid, I tell myself that everything will be alright and that everything will fall into its place. It always has. Even during my most trying time (thesis days), He has never failed to lift me up and put everything back into its place.

And now, as I enter a new chapter in my life, I am not afraid of the new responsibilities. Uncertain as they may be, I know Someone up there would guide my every step. So here I am, ready to take the leap. Let's go, Lord!

Of Petnames.

A friend teased me because of my previous entry, that I liked being called baby.

Well... From those two guys I like being called that. Actually for the first time I liked being called that. Because I swore to myself that I wouldn't allow any guy to call me baby.

I don't like petnames. Well, save for love. After love, that's it. I occasionally use dear for my friends. But I told myself that if my future boyfriend and I would have petnames, I'd like it to be as unique as my parents's nicknames to each other are (Tubby and Timmy. Tubby = taba while Timmy = timang>, or as cool as Sir Rey and his wife's pet names to each other (panget).

...although I occasionally enjoy the sweetness every once in a while. :) Because I am a very affectionate person. :)

Of Hoping Against All Odds

God,

I come before You right now.
Work through this mess that I am through. Please.
You did it once and I know that You will do it again.
Thank You for helping me make it this far.
Sana po until the end na to.

Thank You, Lord.
I love You.

Your child,
Niki

Of Being Called "Baby".

Before last night, the last time someone called me "baby" was late December of last year by someone who was then a very special part of my life but because of unforeseen circumstances (or maybe I was just pretending not to see it coming), we aren't really friends right now, but that's beside the point. What I wanted to talk about was last night.

I never really expected that that person would call me that. That person has always been phlegmatic in the text message replies that he has sent me (What's the point of hiding his true gender? I wouldn't emphasis on this pet name so much if it was from a girl). It was just surprising that he chose to say it to my face last night.

And I still feel giddy about it. I know, it's weird. But what do you expect? I have a crush on him. And having been called "baby" by your crush is something EPIC. :P

Of the Last Day

Please let it all be over soon.

I haven't studied for Ethics yet.
My thesis's revisions aren't done yet.

Lord, help me.

Of Patience.

I am seriously waiting for this week to end.

SERIOUSLY.

Of Secrets.

I lied.
Don't you realize he looks like you?

Of Papers.

I can't believe it's been taking me three days to do a paper. I usually get it done on time. And yet this time, I can't seem to think of anything decent to write.

Add to that the fact that the professor who has required the paper is the Dean of our college. And I'm two days behind schedule. &^@%#. :|

Of 3:00AM surprises and synthesis papers.

Our conversation was a pleasant surprise....







...and a very great addition to my synthesis paper in existentialism.

Thank you. :)
You just made my day :)

Of Sleepless Nights

Yes. I'm again deprived of sleep. Hell week. Finals.

I'm not done with the effin Phenomenology paper and I still have to study for Hermeneutics. What a crappy night.

Of Secrets.

I can't tell anybody how much I'm starting to like you too much...




...too much to the point that it's scaring even me. :|