After so long...

I need to let it out because I know I won't be able to finish any of my schoolwork unless I do. 

The past few months have been a roller coaster of highs and lows. I entered the new year, hopeful that maybe things would be a little bit better, but I guess God had different plans. 

I've become so weak, so needy, so afraid to be alone. This isn't who I am. I was this strong, resilient, brave woman who can withstand any trial. Now I'm just reduced to this small person who feels like she can never accomplish anything or do anything right. I've become so dependent on other people for me to feel my worth and value. 

This isn't who I am.

That's why I continue to fight. I will fight harder. I am struggling to get out of this dark cave I'm in, but I'm crawling, I'm trying to remember what it feels like to walk and be in the light. 

I know that God is allowing me to experience this because He has a huge plan for me. I trust Him, and I will fight. I am stronger than this. I will overcome this.