Just Passing By

Hi.

Goodbye.

This blog has been with me for actually more than three years, I just deleted the entries I had way back 2007. And for more than 3 years, it has been my outlet for everything that I've been feeling, whether it be good or bad. It has been my constant friend who was willing to listen to any random rants that I have.

But I have to finally say goodbye to this blog. I am moving forward (to a new domain perhaps).

I'd like to thank the people who have been reading my posts, or those who just came across this blog and decided to read a post. Everybody who has been reading all of my posts, thank you. I am so grateful that some have found it interesting enough to read.

Signing off. :)

Not Enough.

Last year, I remember ranting to one of my friends that I was stuck in a rut in every area of my life: in relationships, work, service, and school. I felt that I was not growing.

But she taught me an important lesson: do not complain until YOU'VE TRIED HARD ENOUGH. Just give it your all, and if it doesn't really work out for you, then leave.

And that is my battle cry for this year: to give everything my all. Whether it be work, service, school, or my relationships with people, I have to give it my all. I have to start stepping out of my comfort zone and do more instead of settling for what's enough.

It's time for me to stretch my wings and really, really fly.

Distant.

That's what you've been lately.

I hope it's not because you've come across this blog.

Exercise.

It's been at least 9 months since I exercised the way I did today. My body was obviously out of shape because 10 minutes into the routine, my body wanted to give up. But I really wanted to lose all of my extra weight, so I finished the routine, which was 30 minutes.

After the exercise, I'm sweating like there's no tomorrow, I'm panting like a dog, but the pride I feel that I finally did it overpowers all the pagod and all the stress that I feel. Amazing.

I wanna keep this up.

Vague. Or not.

I write because I have nothing better to do. It doesn't automatically mean that I have anything better to say, though.

I write because I should be asleep by now, but the thoughts in head keep me up, so I have to let it out. Not that anyone reads this, though, so it should fine to write about how I feel about certain things in a vague way. Or not.

It's the first time I've felt like this for anyone at all: because the friendship is much more important than anything else, I'd rather set aside how I feel because I want to save the friendship. He-who-shall-not-be-named has been playing a very, VERY significant role in my life, and I do not want to take risks, then have awkward moments, then look back and say, "Dang it, I wish I didn't do that." I don't want my issues getting in the way of our friendship.

But it does take some getting used to. Putting limits means that you have to lessen contact with said person. You have to not get used to having them around 24/7. And yep, it is hard, but I'd rather have this than have nothing at all.

I really should be getting to sleep. I might type something specific and end up regretting it. So there you go.

Changes

1. You cannot change other people. Only they can change themselves. YOU ARE NOT A SAVIOR.
2. If a friend or someone important is telling you that you are doing something wrong, please, PLEASE assess yourself. They do not mean it as an insult. THEY DO IT BECAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT YOU. Stop acting like there's nothing you can do about your bad attitude. THERE ALWAYS IS A WAY, YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT.

Limits

I thought that I could enjoy your company while suppressing my so-called "FEELS" for you. 

Apparently, I can't. 

I still haven't gotten the hang of my issues. 

I still expect. 

And this can really ruin our friendship. 

So, in an attempt to save our friendship, I have to set limits from now on.

You are one of the important people in my life, and I cannot imagine losing you over immature feelings. 

So I have to set limits.

But I can't tell you. 

So I put it out there for the whole world to see.

(Not really a very smart idea, I know)

But I know you won't read this. 

I just have to let it out. 

I'm going to be alone in this, you're not gonna be with me. 

I have to set limits to save our friendship.

And yes, to resolve my issues, too.