Of a Little Something for a Certain Someone

I am going to warn those who hate cheesy letters/poems/entries/what have you because this entry is.

Actually, this is supposed to be a song of some sorts, but it keeps on sounding more like a letter rather than a song, so obviously, I FAILED BIG TIME. Hahaha. So here, it is.

Dear you,

I may not have the right words to say all the time, or I may not be able to make you smile every time that you start feeling like crap, but when all words fail, I am ready to listen. I will always be here for you, I always have been. And I'll continue to be, no matter what the circumstances are. If I fail to live up to this promise, slap me, please, because I can be a little bit out of it sometimes.

This is one of my many ways of showing you that I love you, and that I care. And I know that you know all of this already, but I just wanted to make sure by saying it over and over again. Even when you feel like no one else is there for you, I was, I am, and I will always be.

Alyssa Nicole Yokingco, M.A., Ph.D

...SOON. :)

Well... Maybe after, let's say, 10 years. HAHAHA.

Of a Getaway.

I know it sounds wrong to quote a Hilary Duff song, but hey, my blog, my thoughts, and yes, MY preference of quotable quotes:

Gotta make a getaway
The traffic in my brain is
Drivin' me insane
This is more than I can take

YES. I need to get away. I need to just fly away somewhere. I'm sad, confused, and lost.

YES, I'm being emo. What do you care?

Of Getting a Job and Other Things.

I, after months of being unemployed, finally get a job. Actually, this job offer's been waiting for me for months, even before I graduated from college. And then the time came when we finally talked about this job offer. I can still remember it so vividly.

One Sunday after the Feast, Tito Bo and I decided that we should talk about my "job offer". He gave me a week to decide, but instead it took me 3 weeks to decide. And during our annual youth camp, I talked to Tito Bo said that I couldn't accept the job offer. But still, Tito Bo smiled and told me that he understood, and if all else fails, he'll still be willing to give me a job.

So months went by. And well, to cut the long story short, everything else failed. I've applied for so many jobs. Then got other job offers. But they were never the ones that I wanted. And in the end, I returned to my very first job offer. I remember my friends' reactions when they found out that I declined the job offer. I was being too picky, they said. A job offer like that rarely comes, and yet I still had the guts to say no. And now they laugh at me, telling me, "Dun ka din pala babalik". Yeah. But you know what? I am where God wants me to be. He has a purpose of why it took me so long to finally grab that opportunity, just like how long it took for Adrian and I to get together... but hey, that's another story. All that matters is that, I finally have a job, and yes, I'm finally at peace with this decision.

Of Cheesiness.

I found this in My Documents while I was cleaning up my computer. I was amazed (and still moved) by this letter. Never did I imagine that I could write something like this in my entire life... EVER. But then again, like most people, I write best when there's an outpour of emotions. So I decided to share this letter I wrote months back. I'm warning you, it's hella cheesy. I'm protecting this person's identity, because I don't want everybody to know for whom this letter is. Here it is:

Cheese.

Dear Brando,

I have to say goodbye. I am not doing this because I don't care about you anymore... In fact, it's because I do.

I need to distance myself from you. If I continue to talk to you, see you, and text you like I used to, nothing would change, we might as well have not said good bye. You need to let me go in order to grow.

If I continue to lead you on like this, I would be selfish and immature. I have to stick to my decision once and for all. I chose Fajardo over you, and because of this decision, you are now my friend. ONLY my friend.

I loved you, I chose to love you at one moment in my life and this good bye is in itself an act of love. I love you, that is why I need to say good bye. You need to grow from this experience.

I am not saying good bye forever, and I am not eradicating you from my life. I'm still here, standing by until we are both ready to enter this friendship again.

So good bye for now. I hope that everything goes well for you. I keep you in my prayers. 

Take care.
Niki  

Alone.

What's left to lose?

Nothing.

Nothing left to say, nothing left to do. Plain nothing.

Blabbering nonsense. Because there really isn't anything left to say. I'm being redundant because that's the only thing I know.

Nothing's left to lose. Nothing's left to gain.

Tampuhan.

I find it funny how one can say that they have been replaced by another person tapos magtatampo sila and yet they subconsciously (subconsciously nga ba?) push you away...

...now who has the right to feel bad?