Love is Here.

Love isn't just found in the arms of your lover.
It isn't just found in their touch, in their kisses, in their passionate embrace.
Love is also when your best friend's there to call you and pray for you as you cry out to her about your desperation and frustration.
Love is when someone makes time to be there when you need them.
Love is when your parents take time to tell you how much they love you.
Love is when your friends plan a simple birthday surprise for you.
Love is when your brother decides to go window shopping with you and doesn't complain.
Love is when your brother trusts you enough to tell you his secret.
Love is when your friend cracks a corny joke just to make you smile.
Love is when your best friend empowers you not to give up on what you fought for.
Love is when someone embraces you when you're crying.
Love is when someone is willing to do anything stupid just to see you smile.
Love is laughter with friends.
Love is when God uses these simple things to make you realize that He will never forget you.

When I realized this, I realized that I was extremely loved by the people around me. You guys know who you are. Thanks.

Dear you.

I know you won't be able to read this. Either way, when you chance upon this, I hope this helps.


I prayed for a partner. I asked God to give me someone who could tolerate my mood swings, who could be my best friend, and someone who could love me in spite of all that I am. And then He gave me you, dear.

Right now, we are both entering a big bump in our relationship, and we are making probably one of the many big decisions that we have to make as a couple.

I am praying for you, for us, for this trial that God has sent us to make us stronger. I am praying that we go through this victorious, with battle scars, yes, but nonetheless victorious and happy.

I still believe that you are the one that God has picked out of the millions for me. Hang on, okay? :)

Someone Like You

I've been listening to this cover for days. Seriously. And I don't even know why it attracts me so much since it's such a sad song to begin with.

If you listen to the song, it's about someone not being able to move on from a past love, even when the past love has moved on to someone new.

Sure, that's been like, my story for the past... N years, but I'm doing far better in my relationship now than I ever was then.

Or maybe it's because I've always been attracted to sad songs ever since. Like seriously. Extremes. My playlist is composed of either really NOISY songs or just plain sad ones. I don't know. Whatever.

So anyway, the real reason why I decided to post it here is because... I just wanted to. Although I DO wonder why it's suddenly my new favorite song.

Of Spiritual Dryness.

For some, finding God took them a lifetime struggle or some big incident to bring them to Him and find salvation. It was a different story for me altogether.

I was practically born into the community. I grew up in that kind of environment. I didn't find it weird when someone was slain or someone was speaking in tongues, it was so natural for me. I grew up thinking that it was normal, that it was right. I grew up in that environment of love.

So, it goes without saying that I've been serving God for 11 years already, starting out with dancing for Him, then finally ministering to His youth. I never ran out of that fire, of that passion to just go wherever He led me. One mission, and I'd say yes...

...until now. My love for Him became fleeting; inconsistent. One day, I'd be "oh I love You, Lord", then the next day I'd be muttering different words altogether: "Ayoko na. Gusto ko nang umalis ng community." For a time, the decision of leaving the community became so final to me. It was as if nothing could stop me. I didn't feel His love anymore, I didn't feel the fire anymore, so why should I stay?

But He did. He indirectly gave me reasons not to leave this community. People, responsibilities, circumstances to tell me that He still loves me and that He is still taking care of me. I'm surrounded by so much love, by so much care, that I can't believe that I wanted to leave in the first place.

Yes, I will constantly be plagued by the thought of leaving the community, of leaving this path behind, but I don't really see myself leaving anytime soon. Maybe it's because I'm scared to leave this comfort zone, or maybe it's because I'm scared to leave the friends behind, but whatever. If something, or someone has given you this much love, would you ever consider leaving?

I didn't think so, too. :)

Of Haircuts And Break-up's.

I recently had a haircut. One of the most unforgettable reactions that my friends gave me was, "Nagbreak ba kayo ni Ad kaya ka nagpagupit?"

Boohoo. 

My reaction? "Do I have to break up in order to have a haircut?" Seriously, though, girls have this tendency to do something outrageous when their hearts get all tangled up and broken. Makeovers are some kind of revenge to the guy by showing them that well, we're prettier since you've been gone, so go weep in the corner and regret breaking up with us.

Meh. And then I started to ask myself, "did my world start to revolve around Adrian too much that he affected every decision I made?"

Nope. Not really. People, I is got brains, even if it isn't that obvious. Don't get me wrong, I do love him, but hello, I can stand on my own two feet. So why am I acting all defensive, anyway?

Wala lang. Eh gusto ko lang na may masabi. It's been a while since I've blogged something worthwhile (Eh?).

Just so you guys know, I had a haircut because the trim that this barber/barberita gave me was ugly, so I had my hair cut short... After 2 years. 

I eez likey my barbeque.

I love...

1. How you randomly tell me that you love me.
2. How you hold my hand.
3. How you kiss my forehead.
4. How you always find time to talk to me.
5. Your songs.
6. The way you play the piano and the violin.
7. Your hugs.
8. Your smile.
9. The way you make me feel special.
10. Your corny jokes.
11. When you try to get along with my family, especially my parents.
12. It when you're shy.
13. How you're so hell-bent on achieving your goals.
14. How you see me as the person you'll spend the rest of your life with.
15. The fact that you know me best.
16. It when you open up to me and tell me your frustrations.
17. Your tears (what? I love them)
18. You when you cover your ears from the noise outside.
19. The way you put your arm around me. It makes me feel safe.
20. You even though we argue.
21. You even though you're spiritually dry.
22. How you're always there for me.
23. How you kiss me.
24. You in spite of.
25. How you never fail to take me home after our dates.
26. Your laugh.

Simply put, I love you. Just because.